Musings…

The year has just sped at an alarming pace into a hot, steamy March sprinkled with intermittent rain and thunder showers that seem to materialize out of nowhere. Sigh, it is weird how time flies by us and catches us unawares sometimes, isn’t it?

Two months have passed since the New Year and here I am still struggling to come into terms with everything that Fate has thrown my way of late - by God, Fate has thrown A LOT my way so damn it, despite my close friends telling me to let loose a bit and smell the roses, I find myself grappling with the enormity of life… and how overwhelming it can be to a tiny being living amongst a gazillion others. There’s a little bug in my head that kept screaming in its hair-raising shrill voice: It’s your life, shouldn’t you be the one sitting behind the wheel and driving instead of letting life’s circumstances drive you around??

In the wee hours of this morning I woke up abruptly with a spring, that bug having slipped into my dream, ranting that I haven’t made a single resolution despite it being the third month of the year. In an attempt to squash the little bugger, I consoled myself. I did make an unconscious, or rather semi-conscious (??!!!) resolution to test my limits this year and conquer new terrains unconquered before. I suppose that passes for a New Year Resolutions list to begin with… not.

So far as limits and conquering new terrains are concerned, I suppose I’m not so far behind, despite quite a handful of half-baked attempts. For the past few months, I’ve tried writing a comedy – that failed miserably because I wasn’t at a point of time in my life whereby I could … erm… be funny, so to speak. Suppose I lost my funny bone along the way, at least enough that I wasn’t tickled by the characters I created for the book… so poof went the papers into the waste paper basket. Oh, and I tried writing spooky stories too, but as you can see, that failed as well since the only person who got spooked was me. Sigh. Metal monkeys like me will always have a melancholic air around them, so I was told. Maybe that’s true, I resign myself to that. So for the time being, I’ll probably stick to being the drama queen and work up my editors’ tear glands a bit.

Then, I’ve tried my hands on song writing (gasp!) despite being such a reserved and shy person I don’t even sing in the showers for fear the neighbor living above or below my apartment could hear me. At a karaoke lounge, it would take a whole barrel of lager to induce my vocal chords enough for me to belt out any single syllable before I pass out dead, so just imagine… Long, long ago, I used to write with an old friend for a moment in my life just because he had a grand piano within reach and we used to fool around with little, little tunes to amuse ourselves during our free time. I suppose I owe this little adventure to having my old piano, which has been with me for more than sixteen years, transported to my home just recently. The piano came without any of my old music books, so some creative juices started flowing and walla! I started making music of my own, quaint songs to sing and pass the time in the evenings. For those of you living within the vicinity of Puchong, I suppose that’s the reason why the weather’s been utterly crazy of late, no? Haw haw haw. Anyway, after a bit, I realized that despite having a diploma in piano, my fingers, along with other parts of my body, are growing plain freaking old. No longer could they be subjected to any acrobatic movements. Sigh. So apart from chords, and a croaking voice, there wasn’t much to sustain the interest and that died down as well.

There you go, so much for conquering new terrains… As for the list, nothing much but… here’s what I came up with as an insomniac early this morning:

Thou shall not scream or cuss at motorists who fail to give the proper signals at the proper time. They might as well put on their signals tomorrow, if at all, for all I care.

Thou shall not turn purple or burst any blood vessels while driving behind snail paced cars on the fast lane. Thou shall remain calm even in view of the driver ahead driving and reading the morning papers simultaneously. Talk about multitasking.

Thou shall watch out for potholes and bumps (which are everywhere in Puchong) and not lash out at the culprits who caused (or built) them.

Thou shall not cuss at car alarms, pesky children, and/or the neighborhood cat for going ranting mad every now and then, causing your train of thoughts to jump track before it can be safely stored.

Thou shall tolerate silent treatments the way it should be tolerated… with a roll of the eye and a shrug of the shoulders instead of getting absolutely delirious with fury and anxiety.

Thou shall learn how to read Pluto’s version of the Morse code without getting into a fit.

Thou shall enroll in anger management classes if all of the above fails.

Thou shall try out new things without any discrimination. Who was it who asked me to join him for his trip to scale

Mount

Kinabalu

?

Mount

Kinabalu

, here I come, weak joints, vanishing muscles and all! Who was it who asked me to try raw fish and squids? Fishies and squids, beware! Who was it who suggested rock climbing? Climb rocks I shall! …go deep sea diving? Dive, dive, dive! … paragliding? Glide, glide, glide! Bungee jumping? Jump - … erm… we’ll leave that for next year’s resolution.

Thou shall commit to eating all the supplements on the shelf before their expiry date.

Thou shall fix the water heater that cuts the electric circuit once switched on. The household has been hot-water-free since day one despite having a water heater. Sigh, so where’s Pluto when you need him? :p

Rite. Enough resolutions for the time being. Now, where’s that bug? Time for a nice, juicy squish. Muahahahahaha.