It’s Complicated, Alright
I’ve been bombarded by this question one time too many ever since I reactivated my Friendster account earlier this month: What do I mean when I put my status as being ‘It’s Complicated’? Some very observant new friends in my circle had wanted to know. How do I explain myself? It’s just…erm… plain complicated, to summarize the whole humdrum of life, emotional entanglements, unfinished chapters and random mess that characterize relationships in general these days.
But they are persistent. Either you’re in a relationship or you’re not, they say. A statement of naiveté, no less. Yes, they must not know me very well to be so confident in making that assumption. I suppose there’s more to me than actually meets the eye, isn’t there now?
“Are you in love with a person who doesn’t know or who doesn’t love you in return?” They probed. “Or are you in love with someone you’re not supposed to be in love with?” Not quite, I don’t think. Trust me when I chose that statement, I meant it to the last alphabet: IT IS COMPLICATED. For the time being, let’s leave it at that. If you’re still wondering, ask me personally and I shall feed that burgeoning curiosity as seen fit. Remember though that curiosity killed the cat, so trudge ahead with caution. You have been forewarned. Hawhaw.
Having said that, after all the introspection and reflection on relationships being complicated or not, I find myself wondering, how often does life, if not love, fall into clear segments of black and white instead of different shades of gray? And how often is love so clear-cut and unconditional that it doesn’t blend in with other emotions that really would make it something else? And how often does reality clashes and interferes with mere feelings that serve to bind two mortals together?
I mean, if you’re one of those lucky few who belong to that blessed category whereby your relationship is a dream and is smooth sailing all the way, then congratulations I say, you’re both a match made in heaven. But for many of us, from my own observation and experience, as well as from having heart-to-hearts with some close friends, it’s doubtless that romantic liaisons often fall into that feared gray category of uncertainty. If you know how many midnight calls and messages I receive ranting about the unfairness in love etc, you would know what I mean. Under more severe circumstances, that gray category inevitably translates to people like me branding their love-life as being complicated. *smirk*
Come to think of it, really, love is just this overrated emotion that everyone frets and fusses over and puts so much attention into. Call me disillusioned, but damn, at this moment in time I do agree with The Darkness in belting out that Love Is Only a Feeling. It’s only a feeling, regardless what those poets or writers or composers say. In an attempt to uncomplicate the complicated, one would just have to believe in that. Other than that, blame it on the raging hormones. Blame it on momentary insanity. Or whatever it is that crosses your mind to blame.
What am I trying to get at really? Guess I’m just making a feeble attempt to justify why my love life is just plain ‘complicated’ at the moment. Maybe next time to save myself all this trouble, I’d just change my status to being single. :p
